5:59 am arise from brooding on the throne (Evil never sleeps after all)
6:00 am begin cooking breakfast
1 pound butterflies
3 penguin embryos (shells on)
1 cup lemon juice
1 Tbsp of cayenne pepper
½ cup of grits
1 cup of water
De-wing butterflies. Place wings in separate bowl from bodies. Place butterfly bodies in microwave for two minutes. Watch carefully. Once popping stops remove bodies from microwave. Discard bodies.
Place embryos in pants. Once embryos are warm place embryos in blender (shells included) and combine remaining ingredients on high until a paste is formed. Set aside.
In a small pot bring water to boil add grits and cook for 5 minutes then reduce heat to low and cover. Allow to simmer for 5 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste
Take butterfly wing/penguin/pepper paste and rub into the eyes of nearest captive hobo. Relish the screams of pain and note the clawing at the eyes. Photograph, record, or video tape according to taste. Repeat as desired.
Serves 12
Eat the grits.
Serves 1
Leftover wing/penguin/pepper paste can be frozen in a plastic container for later use.
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