Worst Christmas Song Ever

Please Don’t Steal For Me This Christmas

That Blasted Breakfast

If you're like me there are some things that are so odd that they have to be tried. In the spirit of that I present to you Batter Blasters....



I opened up the can and sprayed a generous amount into the pan. At medium heat they cook pretty quickly. They do however tend to stick if you don't use an oiled nonstick pan. Since I was using a traditional oiled pan I had to flip them with a spatula rather being able to flip them with a flick of the wrist. They looked like pan cakes. They smelled like pancakes. In fact they even tasted like pancakes. They were very fluffy. I actually like my pancakes a little more dense. As for taste? They were on the sweet side but I've had far worse pancakes than these. I give them a four on a five point scale. Take that Easy Cheese!

Are they worth the extra expense? If you have to cook breakfast for seven people and you overslept then definitely. Want pancakes on a camping trip? Go for it. Want to set up a bizarre breakfast themed booby trap? Nothing better. Otherwise probably not.

**Safety Warning**
Do not, under any circumstances, place a can directly into a fire hoping to instantly create a 112" diameter pancake. Its very messy and the shrapnel is rather painful.

Pure Genius

Now all we need is egg flavored toothpaste...

Bacon Flavored Dental Floss

A Mental Vacation

Pretty much every place I didn't go on my vacation...


If the video doesn't appear click here.

Backstory and more videos at Where the Hell is Matt

Life Is Good

Ok I didn't brag when we got a Wii for free (wedding present), And I didn't say a thing when I bought a new 32" LCD HDTV for 300$ (open box deal). But today I can't help it. I just got a 50" rear projection HDTV for free. My in laws upgraded to a 50" Sony LCD HDTV and gave us their old set. This happened to occur one day after The Misses bought Rock Band for the Wii which means we get to play it Texas style.

So far this year I've gotten a wife, a step son, inlaws that I like who upgrade a lot, a free Wii, a new daughter, a new car, and a free giant HDTV. And I have beer. Life is good.

Zealot or Nut?

I'm just going to totally bypass the separation of church and state issues in the article.

From the AP:

Ohio board votes to ax teacher accused of branding


COLUMBUS, Ohio - The school board of a small central Ohio community votedunanimously Friday to fire a teacher accused of preaching his Christian beliefs despite staff complaints and using a device to burn the image of a cross on students' arms.
...
Freshwater used a science tool known as a high-frequency generator to burn images of a cross on students' arms in December, the report said.

Its really easy to write the guy off as some sort of religious whackjob unless you pay particular attention to this line:

Freshwater told investigators he simply was trying to demonstrate the device on several students and described the images as an "X," not a cross.

In other words it never actually occurred to him that burning stuff into his students skin was a bad thing. My verdict? Just a nut. Although odds are in his mind he's in the clear due to the golden rule.
Its always disturbing to see the loophole in that teaching spring to life.

Of Note

I've been listed on The Best of the Web's blog directory for free under the category "Moderate"! It may not be an award but its the next best thing and it puts me in good company.

Fighting Back (Gas Prices Edition)

Well we did it. We went out and bought a brand new car. After hours of research half a dozen test drives and two weekends spent shopping for cars we finally bought a 2008 Nissan Versa hatchback for me to drive.

We weren't planning on buying a new car quite this soon but my 1998 Ford Taurus' transmission started slipping (only if you gunned it) and rather than spend 700 to 1000$ repairing it when it finally crapped out we opted to trade it in for 700$ (fair market value IMO). We got a good rate of 4.9% due to my wife's superior credit score and monthly payment of 305$ for a 17,000$ car (including extended warranty).

We picked it primarily because it was the most fuel efficient vehicle in its class getting 33 MPG on average (38 MPG possible driving 65, on a flat interstate, with one passenger of average weight, with cruise control on, and the car being well maintained.) was highly recommended by Consumer Reports, and had the most bells and whistles of any car in its class including ABS, key less ignition, built in alarm system, variable speed transmission, power everything (except seats), and a six disk in dash CD changer with bluetooth and Ipod port.

Also of great import is that my tiny wife can see over the steering wheel if the seat is fully jacked up without having any major height oriented blind spots.

Unfortunately the only 2008 model we could find was a light gray without the spoiler and so its a really bland looking car. Especially considering that its major competitors were the Pontiac Vibe:











and the Toyota Matrix














which all were rated well but the Versa beat them out on mileage, power, safety (with ABS), and gizmos. But there isn't a speck of me in the car. I mean my first car was a new 1998 gray Ford Escort. But I chose that car. This one was decided on by consensus, need, and functionality. I assuage myself knowing that I've decreased my gas consumption by 33% which in turn saves me some money, reduces the amount of carbon dioxide I spew into the air, reduced the amount of money that governments that support terrorism receive, and if we use it to run errands on the weekend we'll save another ten bucks a week. But part of me would be much happier if the car reflected an iota of my personality rather than screaming entry level accountant. How American is that?

Who knows, once I slap a " Cthulu in 2008 Why vote for the lesser of two evils?" bumper sticker on it, add a NWF and a Coalition for Darfur window decal to it, and hang up a tacky air freshener I'll feel better about it. Until then at least I can take a little pride knowing that I'm making a tiny sacrifice for my family, my nation, and my world. After all don't the needs of the many outweigh the needs of a few or the one?

Having a Bad Day?

It could be worse. At least you weren't saved from a lynching by being arrested for being part of a penis stealing ring.

Apparently truth is still stranger than fiction.

Tagged

Alan Stewart Carl at Maverick Views tagged me with a meme that been going around lately.
I ignored the only other time I was tagged but that was mainly because it wasn't as simple as this one.

So here's the rules of the Meme:

1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

I had to wander into the living room and the first book I laid my eye upon was Pirate by Fabio which is a: not mine and b: autographed (My tiny wife claims that she was merely passing by the table where he was posing for pictures and autographs and he scooped her up in a desperate attempt to get a breather from picking up and posing with a group of significantly larger women.)

"Besides, decent women were expected to be chaste---men were not. That was simply the way of the world. But his world had changed ever since the minx laid claim to him."

I tag
Bridget Magnus of Shortwoman
Citizen Carrie of Carrie's Nation
MW of DWSUWF
NeoWayland of Pagan Vigil
The Crux of Buck Naked Politics

Monkeys Can't Sue? Who Knew?

Everybody but PETA apparently.

From the San Antonio Express News:

Court: Monkeys, chimps can't sue

The 4th Court of Appeals in San Antonio has rebuffed efforts by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to gain legal standing for chimpanzees and monkeys that were brought to San Antonio's Primarily Primates sanctuary in 2006.

The appeals court Wednesday affirmed a decision by District Judge Andy Mireles, who dismissed the case in September 2006, saying the nine animals and two human plaintiffs didn't have a legal right to sue.

The animals came to Texas from Ohio State University with $324,000 that the university pledged for their care. PETA charged the sanctuary was substandard and wanted the animals and money moved to another sanctuary.

A later legal action by the Texas attorney general put the sanctuary into receivership for six months, during which time most of the animals involved in the suit were taken to Chimp Haven sanctuary in Louisiana. Primarily Primates now is suing to force their return.

PETA said it was evaluating whether to appeal the latest ruling. It issued a prepared response noting the findings of the court receiver.

In general I don't blog about PETA because I don't think they need any publicity from me. The right wing noise machine gives them all the free press they need in my opinion. I'm also of the opinion that if they'd stop talking about their every court case and publicity stunt PETA would slowly fade away. (Of course I also believe the same thing holds true for Al Franken and Michael Moore.) But PETA hasn't monkeyed around in my back yard since I've been blogging.

However one thing about this whole mess remains unclear. If lower life forms can't sue what are we going to do about all of the unemployed civil trial lawyers?

Holiday Hiatus/Linkfest

I have my son for winter break so I'll be on hiatus till the Iowa primaries. Until then, as my belated Christmas present to you, I present the holiday linkfest. Just leave your blogs title and address in the comments of this post and I'll put a link here (as long as it doesn't promote anything illegal, immoral, or light beer). Feel free to link back.

OMG They Killed Kenny!

or Hentish as the case may be.

Looks like Blackwater is back in the news yet again first it was the murder of Iraqi citizens, then it was for its employees allegedly gang raping a coworker and now they've shot the NY Times dog.

From Reuters:

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - The U.S. embassy in Iraq is investigating another deadly shooting incident involving its Blackwater bodyguards -- this time of the New York Times's dog.

Staff at the newspaper's Baghdad bureau said Blackwater bodyguards shot Hentish dead last week before a visit by a U.S. diplomat to the Times compound.

Blackwater spokeswoman Anne Tyrrell said the dog had attacked one of Blackwater's bomb-sniffer dogs while a security team was sweeping the compound for explosives.

At this rate the next salvo of negative press launched against Blackwater will involve children. I'm betting that it will eventually be alleged that Blackwater employees were either found running a sweatshop using forced child labor or that they were caught selling diminutive prosthetic limbs on the Iraqi black market. That is of course provided they aren't caught offing Oxfam's cat first.

Now Presenting..

Many moons ago Dennis Miller said,"There's only one reason to beat a dead horse. Because its fun." and in the spirit of that I'd like to present...

The Roundup of Rove Roundups (dedicated to Pete Abel)

Over at Barbarian Blog MrGumby2U asks, "Might the Republicans finally have gone too far? Will the American people at long last recognize that the Republicans have no sense of decency?" prior to beginning his roundup.

Psst... The answers are probably and no. (Unless your taking about the GOP leadership in which case you may have a point. But I'd say the same if you asked about the Dems too.)

Pajamas Media has a roundup so large they actually had to get dressed in order to assemble it.

The Moderate Voice has a round up that should be part of any well balanced blog diet.

Buck Naked Politics wraps it up with its own roundup that includes many blogs I've never heard of before like new comer Moderate Monkey (Great name!)

Political Quiz Results

Found a link to this "political quiz" via TMV's Center of Attention. Too many either/or questions to be wholly accurate but what they hey...

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 45% Conservative, 55% Liberal Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

Partisan Accusations

File this one under Moutains out of Molehills
Calling Himself ‘The Whitest Man In America,’ Fox’s Gibson Defends ‘Ooga Booga Fever’

Last week, during a discussion of the “TB Man story,” Fox News anchor John Gibson declared that tuberculosis usually affects someone “from the third world” or who contracted “ooga booga fever” in “some godforsaken hellhole.”

Noting the criticism of his remarks from Media Matters and ThinkProgress, Gibson responded on the June 1 edition of his radio show.

Calling himself “the whitest man in America, who is the black man’s best friend,” Gibson said his comments were not racist because he had just “invented” the term. “Now, I could have called it Machu Picchu fever or Latino jungle fever or something. I’ve gotten sick in those places too.” (Gibson noted, however, that he wouldn’t have called it “Potomac fever,” after Washington, DC.)

Later, Gibson contradicted himself, claiming he learned the phrase from reading Joseph Wilson’s book, which references Ouagadougou, the capital of Burkina Faso. “So I, in making up ooga booga fever, I actually mispronounced the name of Burkina Faso. I should have said Ouagadougou fever.” more

Whitest man in America? That title was available? Well crap. Barry Manilow will be crushed.

May 15th Gas Boycott Doomed

The last time I talked to my mom she asked me to blog about this and I neither agreed or argued because I knew that a one day boycott is as useless as disagreeing with mom.

From MSNBC courtesy of The Rite Wing Technopagan (God luv 'em)

"The real problem with this idea is that — as some versions of this e-mail helpfully suggest —these "boycotters" simply top off their tanks May 14 or wait to fill them up May 16. All that does is shift sales from one day to another. Any money “lost” from lower gasoline sales on May 15 will be made up with higher sales on the days before and after the “boycott.”"

The only way to affect gas prices is to reduce consumption. As this has a side effect of reducing funds to countries that support terrorism and improving air quality it's an effort that is highly worthwhile.

Since the coffee is still brewing I'm just going to copy and paste a post I made elsewhere on how to reduce gas consumption painlessly:

gasbuddy.com tracks prices all over America on a station by station basis. They have websites for most major cities
(insert city name)gasprices.com so for me its sanantoniogasprices.com

Also make sure your tires are properly inflated normally thats 35 on the little meter thingy for most cars and light trucks. Under inflated tires can cost ya 2 mpg.

Remove any dead bodies from your trunk, move that dashboard altar inside, and limit yourself to 1 gun and 2 magazines per car. 100 pounds = 1 mpg

Time for that tune up and/or oil change that you've been putting off = up to 5 mpg (if you're bad about maintenance, request platinum plugs, they last for 3 years)

Other maintenance Air Filter (you CAN do this yourself in 5 minutes), PVC valve (costs 5$ and is as easy to change as an air filter), Fuel filter (these suckers vary wildly in price and ease of installation ask your mechanic about it when you get your tune up)

And ya may wanna run a gas treatment through your car next fill up.

Sam's Club and Costco have the cheapest gas in town if you already have a membership. But don't go buying a 35 to 50$ membership just to save a dime per gallon on gas. However if you start buying you're gas, potty paper, trash bags, water filters, pet food, laundry detergent and Vaseline there you'll save money in the long run. (Note: Costco is usually cheaper than Sam's. Costco caps its profit margin at 20% Sam's doesn't AND Costco's often have liquor stores in them.)

Plus in the event we are ever besieged by Zombies having to pull over to forage for gas as little as possible becomes really important.

I'm Calling BS...

On Erick and Jeff Emanuel over at Red State:

So I'm looking at Memeorandum this morning to see what's being blogged about today and I see the article below over at Redstate and I go over to see what all the fuss is about:

"For the Legacy of These Men, You Should Call Congress and Stop This Bill.
These are the heros of Guam. The men of the United States military who rescued Guam from the Imperial Japanese. These men shed their blood that Guam might be free.

And yet, the House Majority Leader thinks this is not enough. Steny Hoyer thinks we should also have to pay Guam reparations for what Imperial Japan did to Guam.

(snipped out call congress at this no. part )

You can stop this madness. You can call your Congressman and tell him to vote against this bill. Call right now and tell your Congressman to oppose H.R. 1595." whole thing


Followed by a list of every serviceman who died liberating Guam. And at the bottom of that post is a link to the original post of which I am only posting the pertinent parts of here some parts of which I am putting in bold as I'll be talking about them specifically in a minute:

"Are you wondering what the heck I'm talking about? I mean, seriously - what in the world does the US have to do with this anyway, and why in the world would we owe reparations to a country for an action that we had no part of?

That's a question for House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (D-MD) and his eight compatriots, all of whom have co-sponsored a bill that would require that America pay reparations to the people of Guam for - get this - the actions of the Japanese in World War II.

According to the bill (HR.1595, the "Guam World War II Loyalty Recognition Act"), the people of Guam:

suffered unspeakable harm as a result of the occupation of Guam by Imperial Japanese military forces during World War II , by being subjected to death, rape, severe personal injury, personal injury, forced labor, forced march, or internment.

For this reason (?), "the Secretary of the Treasury shall make payments" to WWII survivors and their descendants on Guam for the brutal actions of a third party.

Makes perfect sense, doesn't it? After all, the US is the largest aid donor on the planet; it's only logical that we should rebuild, repatriate, and reparate every country that has been hurt by every war that we can find. Let's not stop with Guam - let's include everybody from Carthage on up to the present. Should we pay reparations to the Koreans for the Mongol invasions of the 14th century, and to the Spanish for the loss of their Armada in 1588? Why not?

And while this bill holds up $126,000,000.00 for the repayment of the people of Guam for what the Japanese did (as well as $5,000,000.00 for "the Secretary of the Interior [to] establish a grants program [to]...award grants for research, educational, and media activities that memorialize the events surrounding the occupation of Guam during World War II, honor the loyalty of the people of Guam during such occupation, or both, for purposes of appropriately illuminating and interpreting the causes and circumstances of such occupation and other similar occupations during a war"), our soldiers can't even get a dime in supplemental appropriations.

Way to go, Democrats. Your "blame America first" (even for things we have nothing to do with), anti-US soldier attitudes, actions, and mindsets have just been taken to a new level. " whole thing

So I decide to read the actual bill itself as it would appear from the post that there is a provision in it to pour salt on the graves of our honored dead. And I'll darned if I couldn't find that clause anywhere. So allow me via The Pacific Daily to boil the bill down for you:


"The bill is based on recommendations from the Guam War Claims Review Commission, which found that Guamanian Chamorros, were not treated the same as other Americans on war claims matters.

The compensation would be limited to an estimated 9,000 Chamorros who survived the occupation or their direct survivors.

The bill is based on recommendations from the Guam War Claims Review Commission, which found that Guamanian Chamorros, were not treated the same as other Americans on war claims matters."

The compensation would be limited to an estimated 9,000 Chamorros who survived the occupation or their direct survivors.

The bill includes a $5 million grant program for research, education and other activities to memorialize the events surrounding the occupation."


And after reading the bill I discover it has 28 co-sponsors including 6 Republicans: Rep. Elton Gallegly [R-CA], Rep. Jeff Miller [R-FL], Rep. Dennis Rehberg [R-MT], Rep. James Sensenbrenner [R-WI], Rep. Dan Burton [R-IN], Rep. Donald Young [R-AK]. see here


That left me with the question of who created the Guam War Claims Review Commission when?


That was H.R. 308 (in the 107th Congress) see here

Jan 30, 2001		Introduced
Jun 24, 2002		Scheduled for Debate
Mar 13, 2001		Passed House
Nov 20, 2002		Passed Senate
Dec 16, 2002		Signed by President

Hey, wasn't the House and the Senate run by a Republican majority then? Wasn't it signed into law by a Republican President? So essentially the Democrats and Republicans that sponsored and cosponsored the bill were just finishing up work that the previous congress started?
So if this is a bad bill then its a bad bipartisan bill.

Mr. Emmanuel, either you didn't do your homework or lied about the facts in the name of partisanship.

Erick, you didn't double check the facts and proceeded to invoke the names of almost every serviceman that gave their lives to free Guam (in order to mobilize your readers). That is never to be done lightly and by doing so under false or erroneous pretenses you did them a great disservice and that is unforgivable.

Update
So I check my little traffic meter and see a few hits from Red State and wander over to see whats going on but there's no link in the comments thread or anything and then I see comments 5,6, and 7 and considering that one of those hits was from a secure section of Red State it's likely that came from Kowalski's email to Erick to which this is his response:

"Thank you Kowalski. I appreciate it. I do, however, want to leave the names on the front page a while longer. I think you understand the point and I'm pleased by the reaction it has gotten."

Since when did things like truth and integrity become of less value than reaction? And what does it that say about you that you do? It's that type of thinking that cost the GOP the House and the Senate in the first place. And if the DNC starts heading down that slippery slope it'll put them out of power too.

Midtopia linked back with Ripping Redstate

Spy Coin Culprits Caught Red Handed

Numismatic nanotechnology is crossing our border. Spy coins are sneaking their way into our pockets, rental cars, and piggy banks thereby threatening our national security by tracking our movements and sending our conversations to their shadowy creators....or not.

'Poppy Quarter' Behind Spy Coin Alert

By TED BRIDIS
The Associated Press
Monday, May 7, 2007; 3:56 PM

WASHINGTON -- An odd-looking Canadian quarter with a bright red flower was the culprit behind a false espionage warning from the Defense Department about mysterious coins with radio frequency transmitters, The Associated Press has learned.

The harmless "poppy quarter" was so unfamiliar to suspicious U.S. Army contractors traveling in Canada that they filed confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried contractors described the coins as "filled with something man-made that looked like nano-technology," according to once-classified U.S. government reports and e-mails obtained by the AP.

The silver-colored 25-cent piece features the red image of a poppy _ Canada's flower of remembrance _ inlaid over a maple leaf. The unorthodox quarter is identical to the coins pictured and described as suspicious in the contractors' accounts.

The supposed nano-technology on the coin actually was a protective coating the Royal Canadian Mint applied to prevent the poppy's red color from rubbing off. The mint produced nearly 30 million such quarters in 2004 commemorating Canada's 117,000 war dead. more

D.C. Law Firm Suspends Woman Who Worked as Escort

From ABC News:




A legal secretary at one of Washington's most prominent and well-connected law firms, Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld LLP, has been suspended after telling her bosses she secretly worked at night for the escort service run by the so-called D.C. Madam, Jeane Palfrey.

The woman both serviced clients and, at times, helped to run the business, Palfrey told ABC News in an interview to be broadcast on "20/20" Friday.

The firm said it would not make her name public.

According to e-mails the woman sent to Palfrey on her Akin Gump account, she "enjoyed and even missed" the work she did at night for Palfrey, who has been charged by federal prosecutors with running a large scale prostitution ring. more




Obviously she either was being underpaid or was overdue for a promotion to client services.