Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Alliance Filthy Lie Assignment: Smoke and Mirrors

Instapundit noted how Wal-Mart was using bloggers to try to dilute its image as The Source of All Evil. Since we in the Alliance of Free Blogs know that Glen is the source of all evil we feel the need to explain what is really going on.

Wal Mart and Glen are one. Follow me down this dark and dangerous driveway of logic if you will.

A: Glen is the source of all evil.
B: Wal Mart is Evil
C: Wal Mart is Glen.

Simple enough? No? Sit there for a second. Lose your preconceived notions of reality. Feel the evil. Taste it. Roll it around on your palette. Do you understand now? Its obvious isn't it? Darth Glen is trying to foist his past misdeeds onto his Wal Mart subsidiary thereby lowering the publics perception of his truly evil nature! Then the PR firm of "Wal Mart" makes nicey nice with the public and once again Glen's records of misdeeds are effectively expunged. Do you see the genius of it?!?! He'll be free to do as he anything. Leave the house, run for office, play Keno in Reno with Deano, or whatever pleases him! He'll have a clean slate!

I say thee nay! Not while I have breath in my body! I shall not allow this deviously daring deception to dawn! And I charge you gentle reader to unite with me in the great cause!

Here's how.

First load your ENTIRE address book into one email.
Second Copy and paste a link to this warning of the machinations of evil into the aforementioned email without the usual glowing praise of my true genius.
Third at the end of the email ask them to forward it to their family and loved ones.
Fourth and Finally make the subject line the following phrase:

Sub: What a Freaking Weirdo!

I know that in your heart of hearts it pains you to denigrate me so. But fear not for the reason of the neccessity for blasphemy is nigh, They will be awestruck that you had the audacity...Nay the Temerity to speak so cruelly of me and will initially be so outraged that they in turn will write to all of their friends, family, coworkers, former school mates, old flames, and elementary school teachers bombasting you for such profane abuse of me BEFORE they even read these words of warning! And thus shall the entire world be warned within mere seconds! And Darth Glen will be duly thwarted again! And the world will have me to thank once again.

Now you see the true genius of my plan.

Feel free to comment amongst yourselves AFTER you write that email.

Tags: *instapundit* *Satire* *humor* *alliance of free blogs*